"I hope you won't have to compete with an idea."
I know. Believe me, Ive been there, been that. And Im not saying that to sound clever. I have been an idea. I have been an idea in someone's head as to what I should be like. But Im not an idea. Platonists at least know the difference between ideas and percepts. Some people don't.
We have to be careful. We have to make sure first that what theyre seeing is not the idea of us, perfect and unchanging, but the perceptual us, with all our faults, quirks, and idiosyncracies. We have to be sure that what they like (or dare I say, love) about us is not the idea they have in their heads of what they would like us to be, but the us with all our foibles but that can be trusted to change. For the better, inshallah.
I have been an idea. I have had to compete with the me that was an idea. And in a competition between the ideal me and the perceptual me, there's no contest. In a competition between the ideal me and the perceptual me, I throw in the towel. I like (and love) people. With all their faults. Because I trust them to change. If you love somebody and all they see is the idea of you in their head, then throwing in the towel is the smartest thing to do.
"So what are you doing now?"
Im just chillin'. Im not looking for anybody. If they come, they come. If they don't, then that's OK, too. Maybe when the kids are older.
"Youre a good man, Charlie Brown."
Yeah. In the meantime, let's go look for Tantric sex lessons.