Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Woe to you scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!

Rom of Smoke reminds us that it's Earth Day today.

Happy Earth Day! Dont waste resources. Dont waste energy. Or else there won't be any left for rich countries to waste. We Third Worlders really ought to have a heart and pity the poor industrialized nations whose profligate lifestyles are under threat from the coming crisis. Imagine, no more private jets, no more 12-cylinder Ferraris. Al Gore will be forced to live in a house whose energy consumption doesnt equal the energy consumption of an entire African village for 500 years.*

So I enjoin you, fellow Third Worlders, for the sake of the industrialized nations, do what you can. Dont let their culture disappear. For our sake, for our children's sake, and for our children's chlidren's sake.

Mother Earth thanks you.

*I pulled that statistic out of my ass, but you get the point, dont you?

Update, 23 April 2008. Here are some numbers I didnt pull out of my ass:

According to this site, the average American household consumes 10,892 kWh per year. If Al Gore consumes that amount in a month, we'll come to 130,704 kWh per year for his house.

In 2005, the average electricity consumption of a Filipino household is 946 kWh. That's for the entire year. That means it'll take the average Filipino household 138 years to consume as much energy as Gore's house does.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Human nature

I came across this quote from Professor Stephen Hawking.
I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.
That's pretty dramatic of Steve, and far be it from me to disagree with one of the world's smartest humans, but Im not that negative about the forms of life we humans have created. If computer viruses count as life, then other less destructive software also should count as life. Packet sniffers, for instance, perform pretty complex things and yet they arent usually destructive unless purposely designed to be so. One might argue that packet sniffers arent self-replicating, but I have argued that a living thing doesnt have to be self-replicating in order to be considered alive. To be considered alive, one needs only to be able to process information, both internally and those coming from the outside, that is, information coming from the environment. Ive played with that idea here.

Professor Hawking has reason of course to be negative about human nature, scientist that he is. He is aware that his profession has given mankind the tools with which to destroy itself. In fact another of mankind's inventions, aided by science, has been responsible for more slaughter than any other institution invented by man, and that invention is Government, that institution which demands that we bow to it, give up our freedoms for it, give it our children to fight its wars. Science and government can be a lethal one-two punch as it has proven numerous times in the past.

Im rich! Rich!

I received this in my mail:
British National Lottery,
28 Tan Field Road,
Ref: UK/9420X2/68
Batch: 074/05/ZY369
Dear Selected winner,
We are pleased to inform you of the final announcement today, 20th of
April, 2008 of winners of the UK NATIONAL LOTTERY ONLINE PROMO, held on the 28th of January,2008.You have therefore been approved for a lump sum payout of
£753,437 (Seven Hundred and Fifty Three Thousand, Four Hundred and Thirty Seven Pound Sterling) in cash credited to file XYL/26510460037/04.To file for your claim, please contact our claims agent:

Mr Phil Catford
Tel: +447045718587
Provide him with the information below:
1.Full Name:
2.Full Address:
3.Marital Status:
8.Country Of Residence:
9.Telephone Number:

Thank you for being part of our online promotional lottery program.
Yours Truly,
Sir Steven Smith.

Let's see... GBP753,437.00 is about PHP 63,124,476.51. Mother of pearl!!

I have to think about taxes, though. With taxes, that could come to about 30M PHP. Still not bad. My schengen visa's still valid. Hmmm. Maybe I'll take that trip to Italy Ive always wanted to take. Nope. No cars. Too predictable. Unless it's a classic like a Kombi van or a Hillman Hunter or something like that. Something really ugly and cool. I'll probably buy a farm and stock it with carabaos and make mozarella and ricotta cheese. Why? Because I want to, that's why. I can afford it.

I'll need a new wardrobe. Something understated and says, "I dont care what Im wearing because Im rich you Gucci-wearing pretender." Crispa t-shirts. Plain, no prints. And jeans. Corduroys.

A will. I'll need a will. Ah, lots of stuff to do. Lots of stuff to plan.

Thank you, British National Lottery. I did not buy a ticket but you picked me just the same. I'll be eternally grateful. You'll be hearing from me, Sir Steven Smith. See you at the Round Table or wherever it is you knights hold court nowadays.

So long, peasants. You can reach me over on Easy street.

Friday, April 04, 2008

This is just too effing funny

What's even funnier is that Richard Dawkins himself can't figure it out.

It's satire, sir. And it's aimed at you.