This post is dedicated to our hard-working and artificially-boobed fearless leader, who has so inspired me with her gustatory shenanigans, that I found myself littering the internet with tributes to her exquisite taste in food and wine in the verse form most fitting to her exercise in wealth-porn. I decided, since this blog has been lonely for my company -- sorry, blog, but daddy has to work -- to compile them here. Ive posted them elsewhere, in Twitter, Plurk, and blog.
There once was a girl from Pampanga
There once was a girl from Pampanga
Who, while others wallowed in hunger
Ate Le Cirque's whole menu
With her entire retinue
Of lackeys, a brood of hogmongers
The lady from Lubao
So what are we sposed to do now
With this little lady from Lubao?
Her power is such
That no one can touch
Her riches, and power, and rule now
Hog-wild
There once was a woman, a midget
Who wondered how fat would a pig get
If it dined on caviar
Smoked Havana cigars
And racked restaurant bills in six digits
Mahirap maging presidente
Mahirap maging presidente
Maraming bawal at di pwede
Pinapansin lahat
Dahil tao'y salat
Sa yaman ng 'tan8!nang dwende
Gloria's toy snail
Ang plastic na suso ni Gloria
Sinlaki't singkapal ng mukha nya
Winasak ni Mike
Parang Pampanga dike
Ang plastic na suso ni Gloria
Malagkit
Dont you just love it to bits
Our leader's in glamor and glitz
Because it's essential
To be presidential
Even when the country's in shit
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