Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Asian Domme, Part I

Note: Although this post isnt particularly sexual, it does contain unconventional practices of a sexual nature, which I will try to treat as clinically as I can. It also contains language not suitable for polite conversation.

A little over a year ago, performance artist/tour guide/art gallery owner Carlos Celdran featured one Domina Jane in his Manila gallery, whom he billed 'Mistress of fetish/BDSM/Disciplinary Arts', and this sentence has more slashes than a Friday the 13th sequel. This was the first time I heard of this sort of thing described as art, and we'll come back to that in a bit. Anyway, the reason I was reminded of this post of Celdran's is because of a recent conversation I had with a long-time friend via Yahoo messenger.

"Im into cyber-domination," she told me. Now to put things in proper perspective, my friend, whom we'll hide under the pseudonym Eilís, is not the type, if one looks at her. She's pretty in a mestiza sort of way, intelligent and has a sunny, bubbly personality that people find attractive, but she looks 'normal'--no tattoos, no body piercings, her hair isnt dyed purple. She doesnt do anything that would scream 'different'. In fact, she lives a quite normal life. But since Ive never been one to judge a person by how he or she looks on the outside, I wasnt really surprised. And when I met her, she did have an adventurous vibe about her. I was, instead, curious. "Does it involve video cameras?" I asked.

"Yes," she said. And no she doesnt record them. I suppose that would be against her sense of propriety, which is an ironic thing to say at first blush, but only because we have preconceived notions of what constitutes propriety, but anyway, she said she doesnt record them, although judging by what she showed me later (a message) some of her clients probably dont mind. Again, more later.

"Im not into extreme BDSM," she said. Of course from where I stand, even if there were mild forms of the whole bondage and submission thing, to me they would seem extreme. "I like newbies." Newbies are easier, she said. They meet in some BDSM website and the prospective 'bitches'--my term; theyre technically called subs/slaves--'Slaves' seems so... incorrect since theyre doing this willingly; we'll stick with bitches--the prospective bitches sends her a message.

"What message? ASL please?"

"That won't get them anywhere with me. I won't be impressed. They should show respect and deference. Im superior to them."

"How about, 'If it pleases the dominatrix, may I, a maggot, have the honor of being whipped by your superior cat-o-nine-tails?' Like that?'"

"Something like that."

She sent me a file. It was a copy of a message sent to her, which I reproduce in full below, blocking out certain items to protect the not-so-innocent.
Hello Asian Domme [not her real nick], first at all: thank You for taking the time to read this message, i feel honoured being read by a Real Dominant Lady.

I have just read Your profile and i would like to introduce myself, kneeling at Your feet:

This is [name] a 32 years old, male, slave-sub (as needed), Latino, (from [South American country]). I would like to be trained/enslaved, under Your authority and ownership. I am into bondage, discipline, humiliation, light to mild torture, being treated and trained as a puppy and ponyboy, bootlicking also enjoy verbal and physical humiliation

You can humiliate and degradate me for Your only entertaiment, i have a digital camera and a webcam. i am also curious about consensual blackmailing. I thank You sincerely Your time and i beg You to apoligize me if i had been bothering You at anyway.

Worshiping You:

slave [name]
Notice the capitals of the second person pronouns while the first person pronoun I, if not at the beginning of the sentence, uses a deferential lower case most of the time. This guy's good. Notice also that part about consensual blackmailing, which is a subtle message meaning "Go ahead and record this on video. You could use it to humiliate me some more in the future." It turns out the bitches get addicted to the treatment they get from Eilís, and they keep coming back for more.

"What do you do to them?," I asked.

"Stuff. I make them fuck their butts with a tampon. Or make them use the tampon at work."

Believe it or not, not once was I judgmental about this whole conversation. I was interested in it not because of some perverse curiosity, but because of just everyday, plain-vanilla curiosity. "That's so creative," I said. I thought it was creative. I wouldnt have come up with something like that, anyway.

"It's all about being creative," she said. What an interesting concept, I thought. This whole thing is all about creative expression, which reminded me of Carlos Celdran's post on Domina Jane. This was performance art for both dominatrix and her bitch for their mutual entertainment, and dare I say, for their need for edification. I still can't tangibly figure out what they get out of it, though.

"What do you get out of it?"

"I feel powerful, of course. And I enjoy the creative challenge. I dont really get sexually turned on by watching these men play with themselves."

"And what do they get out of it? What makes them want to be dominated?"

"That's the mystery. Some enjoy the feeling of being 'dirty'."

I need to do some research on the psychology of the need for being someone's bitch. Like Eilís, Im sure most of them lead fairly normal lives and would not stand out in a crowd. Although I would hypothesize that they get some kind of endorphine rush out of it, similar to what prolonged exercise can give you. Or perhaps another neuro-chemical is involved. One that is similar to endorphine.

I was curious for more information but she cut our conversation short. "That's enough for now. I'll tell you more later."

It's not everyday that your friend tells you her deepest, darkest secrets. She knows Im going to make a blog entry out of it, too. In fact she encouraged me to do so, even telling me to register with Pinoyblog.com so more people can read it. But Im not really much of a joiner. So here it is, Eilís. Im looking forward to Part II.


fionski said...

AHA! You've been blogging pala! Do I know your friend?

Jego said...

You might. But Im not saying who. Ive been sworn to secrecy.

grifter said...

or ... you just might have been her friend.

Basang Panaginip said...

this is the first time I've heard of such practice. thanks for sharing your story.

found out about your blog via fionski.

Jego said...

Heya, bp. Ive visited your blog a few months back. You have a great site. Thanks for dropping by.