Wednesday, July 25, 2007


(Novelist, playwright, and multiple Palanca winner Dean Francis Alfar posts vignettes in his excellent blog Notes from the Peanut Gallery and I thought, I could do that.)

Eustaquio took the stand. Not 'took the stand' took the stand. I mean he walked on over to the stand where the bailiff swore him in and then sat on the chair in the stand. Which makes one wonder why we call it a stand. Shouldnt we be calling it a sit? Anyway, Eustaquio walked over to the stand and sat and prepared to testify, which amused Eustaquio no end, since the etymology of the word testify had to do with someone holding their testicles as a sign that they were telling the truth, if one were Roman, or had something to do with holding the testicles of the one youre swearing the truth to, if one were Hebrew. Testify, testicles, Eustaquio smiled to himself and started to visualize himself holding the balls of counsel for the defendant, Atty. Cuadrado, a fat, sweaty man in an ill-fitting barong, who kept wiping his brow with a monogrammed silk handkerchief. This image in his head disturbed Eustaquio immensely as he wasnt a homosexual as far as he can tell. So he tried to shake the image from his head by shaking his head rather vigorously.

"Are you allright, Professor Eustaquio?," asked Atty. Cuadrado.

"Yes. Yes, I am. My apologies," Eustaquio replied.

"Then let's proceed with your testimony, shall we?"

Testimony, testify, testicles, Eustaquio thought, and looked at the silk handkerchief coming up to the brow, then being pocketed, which brought Eustaquio's gaze to Atty. Cuadrado's fly, which was open. Eustaquio looked up at Atty. Cuadrado's face, mouth agape, blinked, and tried to shake the image from his head by shaking his head rather vigorously.

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